It’s born from a desire to help people. Like, if it doesn’t add value, make an impact or help someone - then I likely don’t want to do it. Or, it feels like work… and while I love the feeling of making an effort, or getting my sweat on or having to put energy/brain power/time into something - when it begins to feel like a “job” or task that must be completed - I’m out.
My enneagram number is a Two. I’m a helper; through and bloody through. This means I’ve spent so much of my life playing a very supportive role in people’s lives, businesses, dreams and plans. I enjoy working “in tandem”. I like playing as a team, a small team mind you. The smaller the better.
Over the years I have worked with larger groups in an attempt to change myself, after some well-meaning (?) male leaders recommended I become something/someone I wasn’t to be better at my career. That “being better” mentality almost killed me… well, in a way it did. It killed me on a soul level and just about murdered my creativity.
And between you, me and the fence post? I am still struggling with the lingering feeling of burnout. I literally cannot seem to find my mo-jo, my groove, my jam, my drive like it once was. I still feel the overwhelm to pay the bills, the push to be and the need to always be performing.
And perform I can and do, or did I guess.
Now it seems that if any part of my life, especially my professional life moves out the feminine receptive space and into the masculine, do-done-getter-done space, I am unable to move.
It is highly frustrating.
And then the escape, the shift, the move to the space of why. The why has always been pretty clear. All I have to do is look into her eyes or feel him kick inside and I remember the Why.
Or I consider the Create the Ripple Campaign, the need to set it right… and then I really want to achieve success on a whole new level.
Or as I reach for my keys, toss the camping gear in the back of the van, and set the mountains in my sights… And I want more of this…
More time, for deep meaningful conversations.
More energy less clouded by day-to-day worries.
More money, to put into causes I love, things I enjoy and experiences I want to create.
More hope, to give away.
More…
And it’s at that moment that I remember that less is better.
That I must follow LESS to lead more fully.
That I must FOCUS on my own healing to be of use to anyone else in my life.
That I have to be my best advocate.
And that I remember that it is easy to do the work, put in the effort and it all just flows more fully and completely -- clearly rigged in my favour -- when it moves forward from the space of helping people.
Helping, Supporting.
Creating, Collaborating.
In Tandem.
Staying in our Strength Zone kind of collabs.
As in our Best.
As our Best.
To go Fast, go Alone. To go Far, go Together. (African Proverb)
That one always leaves me wondering what we could create together?