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Can I Embrace the Fullness of Myself?

Can I embrace the fullness of myself?

This is a question I have been asking myself from multiple angles recently. One, as I look in the mirror with the fuller breasts, hips and face of my 7 week post baby body. Two, as I consider my podcast, my mission and my vision for my life and the call to show up fully, authentically and to take up space in the marketplace. Three, as I consider my ongoing personal healing journey, as I learn to unapologetically ask for what I want, what I need and step away from scarcity thinking in all of my relationships.

Can I embrace the fullness of myself? Can I learn to see the beautiful woman inside when the outside is 20 lbs fuller than the slim me I see in my mind? Can I meet myself, my body, with kindness and love in this moment? Can I find peace in a different shape, weight and look? What if I wasn’t so quick to return and instead embraced myself in this current moment? How much more so, and also, this same mindset in my personal development journey. I will become the woman I want to be, and one day will fit back into my favourite pair of jeans, so why not just BE with myself and love myself here too.

Can I embrace the fullness of myself? What is this fear that niggles at the back of my mind… this one that no one will want to hear my story, know my magic or need the unique medicine I bring to the world. Why do I find myself asking, “what does the world need from me”, rather than “what is it that I am here to do, be, bring, speak or sing?”. Why do I hear my own inner thoughts in the voices of my friends, “who am I to be successful?”, “I’m not special, who would want to hear my story?”, “I’m taking so long to get where I would like to be?”... Can I embrace the fullness of my fear, doubt, guilt and disbelief to find peace in who and where I am?

Can I embrace the fullness of myself? Can I embrace my not enough just as my too much? Can I start to dance, wildly, openly and fully… stretching my arms out to touch the sky or stretch out around me; rather than keeping it all close and tight. Can I speak my truth, kindly but fully and loudly, regardless of the push back or discomfort it might bring to the system or entrenched beliefs of society that can go, must go, to make room for change and awareness? Can I speak up for myself, for my needs and speak the world - as I believe it could be - into being? Can I? Could you?

Can we create a safe enough space to allow for the rise of the women we walk beside? Can we? Would you? Could I?

Can I embrace the fullness of myself in this moment, at my best and at my worst, and in that moment accept myself? What peace might be found if I, if you, if we, could embrace ourselves fully, in this moment.

Candice Smiley

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