A conversation on pleasure, trauma and fawning; a stepping away from the patterns of patriarchy
with Nischa Phair
TRIGGER WARNING - We discuss various forms of abuse and trauma in this episode, so if that content isn't for you, please exercise your discretion with this episode.
This might have been one of the most important conversations I’ve had about healing your trauma yet. Learn about fawning as a trauma response. Why it’s likely that you have done this, or might still be; and why it’s important to acknowledge the behaviour and stop it.
This is a podcast for anyone who finds themselves dating “down” or who feel unworthy of love - wholly.
“Have self-compassion and self trust for all of those voices that are untrue because they are the voices of your wounded child or the wounded part that was injured by abuse. It could be physical, emotional, sexual and even substance abuse.” -Nischa Phair
Nischa Phair is an author, researcher, trauma informed sex educator and the founder of SomaBody Trauma Informed Pleasure Work®.
She has been a trauma-informed teacher, facilitator and embodiment coach for 14 years working with thousands of clients in that time.
Nischa initially began studying the connections between fawning and sex in 2016 to better understand her own experiences. She now works almost exclusively with female survivors and those recovering from toxic relationships to help them address fawning during intimacy and heal their relationships to pleasure.
“Fawn: When No Looks Like Yes” is the first book to ever be written about fawning in the context of sex and consent. In addition to sounding the alarm, Phair attempts to answer the million-dollar question: “how can sex and intimacy thrive in a post-#metoo, post pandemic reality?” Part exposé, part self-study guide, part memoir, “Fawn” is a rousing call to celebrate our authentic sexuality and to invite more intention and integrity into our sex lives and relationships, whether they be casual or long term.
Connect with Nischa Phair:
Grab your copy of Nischa Phair’s book Fawn: When No Looks Like Yes here:
We love our collabs! Check this out!
Awakening The Wise Woman:
Rachel Shumway - How to Bad-Ass It By Your Boundaries Starter Kit:
Dr. Mikolaj Raszek (Merogenomics Inc.).:
“21 years ago I survived a sexual assault from my boyfriend.
14 years ago I decided not to kill myself.
11 years ago I was left with 350 k worth of bad debt.
9 years ago I walked away rather than endure sexual coercion and harassment from my boss.
7 years ago I welcomed my beautiful daughter into the world.
5 years ago I left my marriage to fall in love with myself.
3 years ago I allowed myself to fully heal and reconnect with my feminine;
2 years ago I rebuilt my life, moved into my own tiny home and found my Lifetime Love.
Last year, I started my podcast and welcomed my baby boy earth side."
Candice is a mom, podcaster, social marketer and essentialist who loves to engage in interesting conversations with other influencers and entrepreneurs. Her favourite conversations are the ones that take courage to engage in. (Check out her podcast, Create the Ripple Podcast)
She has learned the power of saying no, listening to your own heart and speaks openly about subtle abuse as it occurs in relationships - personally and professionally. She’s become a voice for listening to your own truth and speaking it clearly, powerfully - at home, at work and in your life. She spends her time living - in a tiny home (250 sq ft), traveling, speaking and sharing candidly with others how to live life after betrayal, to trust themselves, to speak up for themselves and set powerful boundaries.
After a narcissistic partner cheated on her with multiple women, left her (and the country!) With over 350 thousand dollars worth of bad debt, Candice was forced to rebuild her life, her credit and her trust in herself. Coming out of this, she encountered her own “Me Too” moment dealing with sexual coercion and harassment in her professional life; saying no resulted in her being the target of gossip that tarnished her reputation.
Deeply affected by the gaslighting and the experiences, she adopted a minimalist lifestyle, leaned on her personal network and practiced radical personal forgiveness, acceptance and responsibility. The journey was not without its impact and Candice shares powerfully about dealing with anxiety, depression, shame and learning to let go.
When grief rocked her world a little less than 2 years ago, Candice knew it was time to stop her life, hit the pause button and finally do the deep work to heal her heart, self and mindset. Emerging from this place, Candice has begun to embrace her fierce and receptive feminine nature. The journey to be and embrace all the parts of herself has led her to the place to start her wildly successful Create the Ripple Podcast; Trust the Niggle and Tell the Truth - where she features other amazing guests who are not afraid to do the hard work of personal development, listen to their own minds/heart and then speak up and out for those things that matter; to themselves and to make a difference in the world.
Candice loves her essentialist lifestyle for the beauty and freedom it offers her. She can never resist the urge to take off her boots to walk barefoot into a clear mountain lake or stream. When she is not connecting or writing, she can be found disappearing into the backcountry trails of Canada with her life-love Mark and losing herself exploring waterfalls and mountain trails. She is a quiet introvert who adores eating clean foods and reading a great book.
For Website and Social Links:
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Special thank you to Angel Carrola Hennig for making this podcast happen
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